Rest Your Mind..Peace No War

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of
her students.

The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first- grade.
My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than
she is!

I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the
principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher
explained to the principal what the situation was. The
principal told the teacher he would give the boy a
test and if he failed to answer any of his questions
he
was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
The teacher agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal
thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks
at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to
the third-grade."

The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him
some
questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.

The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I
have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment "Legs."

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do
not have?"
The Principal wondered, why does she ask such a
question!
Harry replied, "Pockets."

Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"

Teacher: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish
liquid?
Harry: Coconut.

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer,
Harry was taking charge.

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out
soft and sticky?
Harry: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do
sitting down and a dog do on three legs? The
principal's eyes open really wide and before he could
stop the answer.
Harry: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of
questions, okay?
Harry: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me
down to get me up.I get wet before you do.
Harry: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when
you're bored. The best man always has me first

Principal was looking restless and bit tense.
Harry: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I
drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Harry: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I
come with a quiver.
Harry: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K'
that means a lot of excitement?
Harry: Firetruck

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the
teacher,"Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last
ten questions wrong myself.

Pada 1985 adalah tahun kemelesetan ekonomi dunia.. begitu banyak syarikat kena tutup dan terjadilah masalah siswazah menganggur . Untuk mengurangkan tekanan kepada rakyat.. kerajaan telah membuat berbagai program,antaranya skim siswazah menganggur. Namun demikian, tindakan itu tidak dapat menampung lebihan siswazah terutamanya yang mengambil jurusan pertanian atau civil engineering.

Nak dijadikan cerita.. adalah seorang siswazah menganggur dari UPM yang sudah berbulan-bulan mencari kerja, tapi tak dapat-dapat juga. Merata dia minta, tak dapat-dapat juga.. Dan kerana ekonomi meleset, Zoo Taiping pun kena effect dia juga, dah la orang kurang mai.. kena cut lagi budget dia. Entah macam mana , sekor orang utan kat zoo tu mati kerana kurang makanan. Tension juga la pengarah zoo ni pasai orang utan ni juga lah yang menjadi tarikan utama pengunjung kesitu .. Ntah nak jadi rezeki siswa tu dia pi la mintak kerja kat zoo tersebut..maka di interview la dia ni. Kepala pengarah zoo yang brilliant ni pun timbul satu idea... jeng.. jeng.. jenggg. Dia offer kat budak tu.. 'emmm ,mau dak kamu jadi orang utan ? Kerana susahnya dapat kerja ,budak tu pun sanggup la menyamar utk jadi orang utan.

Tiap2 hari dia terpaksa la pakai sarung kulit menyerupai orang utan untuk memastikan
pengunjung tetap tertarik ke zoo tersebut dan pihak zoo pun bagitau dekat orang ramai yang depa ada orang utan baru.. lebih cerdik lagi. Jadi ,ramai la orang mai nak tengok orang utan yang cerdik tu.. Depa bagi kali2 pun dia leh jawab ...(dia tulis atas tanah jawapannya ) So, income zoo tu pun increase gila laa.

Satu hari, tengah dia dok buat aksi 'breakdance' seperti yang pengunjung suruh buat ,dia terjatuh dari atas kekandang buaya yang terletak bersebelahan. Fuhhh.. buaya dalam kandang tu pun melibas-libas gila la ekor dia sambil merangkak ke arah orang utan tersebut. Budak yang jadi orang utan tu pucat lesi... sampai terkencing-kencing dalam sarung tu. Buaya tu terus merangk ak dengan ganas kearah orang utan tu sambil mengangakan mulut dia.. Sappp!!kepala orang utan tu dah berada dalam mulut buaya tu. Tiba-tiba dia terdengar suara dari buaya tu....... pssttttt , jangan takut.. kami dari UiTM laaa..kekekeke